Now I do. Well, it's really after 2 a.m., since my little ones (two daughters, ages four and seven) intuitively knew I was going to blog, so magically they both woke up hungry for snacky. We sat on the living room floor, both with their stuffed animals cuddled in one hand and their respective snacks in the other. At about 9 a.m. later today, Mary Lou Norris, "Helpful L.O.U.", I found via connections will be here with two trucks to take our donations for military families. By the time they are done loading the trucks, I will have less than what I had entering college quite a few years ago. But, I am now much richer, oddly enough, especially after so many personal losses.
Since my last post, I determined nothing would stand in my way of two dreams I have. After continuing to clear away the junk in my life, I find my vision continues to grow wider. I've made no less than about 30 trips to the dumpster and there is still enough for the tucks that will be here in the morning to take my donations. The children have decided what will go to their less fortunate peers (They are donating stuffed animals who need a new home, toys, games and tricycles). The girls are also learning about simplicity, giving, thinking of others and being happy even in the midst life transitions.
What are some of the changes of living a simple and focused life so far? Well, we will be having "picnic style" meals for the next several days until we get into our new place. I've cut my wardrobe by 75% . Yep, no longer waiting to get into those pants or shirt that used to fit. My new thinking is to really live in the present. "If it doesn't fit me, it will fit someone else who needs it more than my closet right now." And all those books taking up my visual space and are in need of dusting? Gone! A dear friend of mine is reading, referencing and enjoying them.
Why all the changes? And all for what? To get that cell phone call indicating the first dream has come true, "Mr. _______, I just got word from the committee and you've been accepted into the doctoral program."
Tears filled my eyes as his sentence finished and I watched my girls playing in the pool joyfully on a beautiful, sunny, Tuesday afternoon. The children and I were both connected to our centers, and harmony was persistent and alive. While this can all fall apart if financial aid doesn't come through, it doesn't matter. I did in the time since my last post, what I could not accomplish in the prior ten years of distractions.
I am far richer than I have ever been, with my two girls tucked away now sleeping, all of us with much less, but centered and focused on happiness...our dreams. Yes, I do know now where my happiness is at 2 a.m.
Resources
- Mary Lou Norris - Helpful L.O.U. Lifting Others Up - "Helping Military and Others in Need" - 760.419.0239
- Operation Home Front
- Freedom Station - Headed up by Rick Roberts, KFMB 760, San Diego
- Warrior Foundation - Founded by Rick Roberts
Update
The day after I received the acceptance letter into the doctorate program via email, I was able to verify the financial aid needed to complete the program is available. This left me feeling settled and enthusiastic about this first stage of many on the road to finishing an advanced degree, especially since I was able to focus on the task with a high degree of precision in drafting statements of intent and meet the deadline for classes to begin in August. This focus, I have to admit, flowed from only having read a few pages of Unleashing the Warrior Within. The author's message rang true for me at this stage in my life. I was compelled to act. It was a synergistic engagement between heart, mind and soul.
Never let anyone discourage you from your dreams or goals, no matter how big or small, because no one can ever guess how much you are capable of doing. You're the only one who can decide that (Richard 'Mack' Machowicz).
